


Angry Little Animals

by semi_automatic



Series: Am I Painting The Picture That's In My Brain? [1]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Delusions, Depression, Fear, Gay, Hallucinations, Hearing Voices, I'm Sorry, M/M, Panic, Sad, Schizophrenia, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-29 00:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5110379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/semi_automatic/pseuds/semi_automatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>am i falling apart or is it the world      why do i feel hands there      nobody is in the room tyler get yourself together tyler nobody was there tyler there were never hands there           what are you talking about he was there he was there i know it i can feel it</strong>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angry Little Animals

**Author's Note:**

> these are real things i experience and yeah enjoy???

another night sitting on the cold floor           cold on your skin      move away from the cold      too cold           shivering      hands      on thighs on stomachs on sides on arms          hands in bad places      bad bad bad      they leave black marks           tyler stares at them in fear           shaking so hard everything blurs           surely someone hears him      surely      please please please      someone come save me           too terrified to be alone too petrified to call for help           he did not realize the air vent was right next to him on the cold cold wall           forgot that josh was a room away      forgot that josh or anyone else even existed      forgot there was another room forgot to breathe      hyperventilating      shaking       **am i falling apart or is it the world      why do i feel hands there      nobody is in the room tyler get yourself together tyler nobody was there tyler there were never hands there           what are you talking about he was there he was there i know it i can feel it**           mist pours from his eyes      pools around his head           burn marks nail marks     scars    all over his inner thighs his sides his arms      never touching the bad bad places      nobody ever touched there      why does it matter         has anyone heard him?          a soft noise somewhere away far away         other things exist?           fear in a familiar voice as the door is pushed open          oh the door can open           he felt like he was drowning when the door was shut           someone other than you who exists       **you exist**      stare with frightened doe eyes      purple mist spilling from them      acid pouring down his throat           it hurts it hurts           _josh make it stop josh get him off me get him away please please_            wrapped up in arms like metal bars      are they keeping him safe or locking him in now?           safety       _tyler you’re safe      it doesn’t feel safe josh i’m scared i’m scared_            the little animals in his chest snarl and jump and begin to push at his ribs           tyler cries           _baby boy what’s wrong what is it_ he can’t explain it      can’t can’t      how do you explain something that doesn’t exist           it doesn’t exist tyler       _it’s not there baby boy you’re okay      i’m not i’m not i’m not_            stuttering      trying to explain it to josh           he can feel his ribs start to crack           _talk to me tyler_            wheezing      desperately trying to take in air      his chest hurts his head hurts he’s lightheaded           _they’re trying to take me over      what is what is it tyler it’s okay you can tell me      no no no the animals the little graham cracker animals josh they’re in my chest they’re trying to break out of my ribs it’s a cage josh a cage and they’re trying to break it_            josh seems to stop           tyler fearing he’s considering how crazy tyler is          how he should just leave him      let the little animals break out      snarl at him snap hurt him           he trembles and pulls himself closer to josh           _please don’t leave i’m sorry i’m sorry_            but then josh comes back      looking him in the eyes       _tyler it’s okay_           he feels something gentle warm press against his chest         _i’ll keep the animals in tyler don’t worry baby boy i will tame the graham cracker animals i’ll eat them and they won’t hurt you line them up in a little row and make them march right into my mouth and keep you safe okay?_            and then tyler cries even harder      not out of fear or pain     but because that is the sweetest thing he has ever heard      and he is less afraid knowing josh will care for him and protect him           and the mist around his head clears slowly           he feels hands fade      though the black marks do not      and steadily the roaring of the animals quiets           and he doesn’t feel quite so sick anymore          and josh then carefully picks him up      ignoring the irregular scarring on the boy’s body           carries him out of the bathroom      away from the cold      though tyler is cold      and into the bedroom of the shitty hotel           he’s set gently on the bed      shivering as josh lays next to him and pulls him gently into his arms           feels lips nuzzle against his ear           _it’s okay now baby boy you don’t have to be so scared i’ll protect you tyler i promise i will protect you from all of the bad things anything anything that tries to hurt you_ and tyler feels a safety      one he rarely feels      so little that he has almost forgotten it exists           as warm hands  flesh hands trace his sides      hardly leaving a fleeting feeling across cool skin           and he shudders           tucks his head into josh’s chest           and tries not to let that feeling go          

denying that the animals will return


End file.
